Mixed Blessings...

Being in the RS Presidency is a mixed blessing. I had wanted so badly to be a 'part of the action' before I was called to be 2nd counselor. It was a talk with my mom that made me realize that I can still do so much without being in the Presidency. Right after that - a call to RS was offered. Funny how God works.
Its been a year now, and I've learned so much that I don't think I could have learned any other way. Gospel principles that have truly eternal importance as well as physical importance. I can see how the principle of self reliance is so important - so crucial and basic. It is a fundamentally important building block in our lifestyle yet so many overlook it. Tithing, Repentance, the list goes on. I see sisters come to the ward with bright smiles and willing hands receive so much that the Lord has for them, and sisters whose emotional or mental hurt can be physically felt from across the room. This calling has given me some great epiphanies and also has been very trying at times to think "Why can't we all just get along?" or "Doesn't everyone try to not be offended at all these little things?" What harm a cross word, or look, or even a non-intended deed can do to a strong faithful member. It is truly scary and makes me think about where my own faith is built upon- rock or sand?
The hardest thing that I have seen is sisters whose potential and radiance illuminate the room the minute they walk in- this is just the set up. The sisters have no idea that you can look at them and see Divine Potential reaching beyond the skies. They might not be members, or they might be inactive... but they just don't realize their true potential and where true happiness is. You hope and pray for them. You work with them and encourage them to do their best. However, Satan is a very cunning and wicked man who spins a web of deceit and hate in so many hearts. The sister has one particularly personal tough trial. The deception begins where they feel lost and alone and angry at the world. And although they still think "I'm going to be the best I can" You can see their grasp almost truly seeing this- just loosen from the Rod of our Savior and as the winds blow on them, they step away from the Iron Rod. It is painful. Heart breaking. Now they just, "hope".
It's just a smidge of what our Savior sees every day. Children in broken homes, lacking the basic necessities of life. Women who think they are only worth what the media tells them or what some 'man' says they are worth. Good people making very very poor choices that will have eternal consequences. And I cry, and I can only imagine the amount of tears shed by the Lord for each and every sister. He knows them and me at a much more personal level- seeing all we were called to do before this life and it must crush him beyond imagination when we refuse to use the atonement. To use the tools he has given us on this Earth to make it back to him: scriptures, Visiting Teachers, prayer, temples, etc.
I look at my daughters and just hope beyond hope that I'm doing all I can to help them feel their divine inheritance as Daughters of God. I want them to be the Princesses they want to be. I know they can feel Christs' love even more than I can at times. Chloe calms instantly when speaking of Christ. Eva is a little more spastic but she knows Christ brings happiness.
“Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).” - Robert D Hales.
Let me be His Hands on Earth. Let me feel true compassion for my sisters' souls. Let me not abuse my responsibilities I've been given on this Earth and forever remember to Endure to the End.