As time goes by....

And time goes by...not always as I thought it should but it does regardless. I have been through a d/c, d/e, and well- a lot of physical and emotional things this last week that have physically and spiritually brought me to my knees. I know I was chosen for this test for an increase in wisdom and knowledge. What exactly that means I will probably look back on this experience and see, given the time to heal. I cannot say that I've been alone on this whirlwind. Yes, it may seem corny to call it so, but seriously - it really has been. One turn after another.... Brian has been whirled into this more than I thought he ever imagine he could be. I think the storm has finally passed, but Brian's remained a strength for me spiritually, emotionally, and physically and for that I am so so so grateful for. I pause at moments to look at him and think, "Wow. I married him, and I couldn't have picked anyone else so perfect for me." Heavenly Father knows who I am. Fact 1.
My family has been so good. Chloe made me cards upon cards with lots of happy and loving hearts (on just one we counted 42!) and Eva has given lots of smiles and snuggles ("I love you. And I still love baby," she'll say as she kisses me goodnight and blows kisses up to heaven.) Ah, to have the simple faith and knowledge of a child. Gabe has been a good snuggler and just like time keeps moving on and I cannot wallow too long or I'll miss something, I just know it! I've received meals from dear friends several times now, and gorgeous flowers from loving family and friends as well. After telling the girls the sad truth a little over a week ago, I was trying to get them to sleep - enticing them by dreaming about their little brother or sister up in heaven. Here's a conversation that touched me.... Families are put together by divine knowledge to give us strength and no real 'oopses' happen. Fact 2.
me : "What are you going to dream about? Maybe your baby brother or sister?"
eva : "Ya!"
me : "What do you think she's wearing (as Eva has determined this loss to have been a girl) up there? What do you think she'll eat?"
eva : "Polka-dot pink jammies, and bubble-gum ice cream! But- not too much or else she'll have cavities."
me: "Oh - that's a cool thing about heaven though- NO CAVITIES! When we get there we'll be able to eat as much as we want of anything!"
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Chloe: Do you know what I'll dream about? I'll dream about my little sister too, and do you know what I'll picture her doing? I'll imagine that Jesus is holding her. Do you remember how much he loves little children?
me: *soooo quietly... "yes. I do."
Chloe: Well I bet he's so happy to see her again, and she's really happy to see Him, too.
me: Yes, Chloe - I'm sure you're right. Good night. I love you.
Families can be together forever. Fact 3.