Remember the Lilies

So today I had some bummer news. The baby is dead.. died, I guess should say. I am going in for d/e tomorrow and will be trying to not freak out (which I should say is not my strong point when I'm told to 'sit' and 'relax'. I'm doing ok and so is the family. We are being taken good care of by the Relief Society and friends. It's the furthest along I've been so far with a miscarriage- just 20 weeks. The baby was at least 17 weeks along, and from the ultrasound today Brian was pretty sure it was a girl. It doesn't really matter I suppose anymore-- and I'm just really bummed I had kinda just gotten psyched up for this kido to come. The Lord is wise in all things. My favorite scripture comes to mind, of which a part reads "remember the lilies how they toil not....etc" Look it up and it will most likely bring comfort to you too! But - that scripture rings a true message. I need not worry or wonder all day why things happen. The Lord will make sure that things are the way they ought to be as long as I am doing all I can. Who knows the big Y, anyways? Good night. Now we've got two beautiful children on the other side, I believe anyways. Brian treated me to a haircut and a pedicure today to try and start this ''fresh start'' I want to do with this. I'm going to lose weight, get finances in order and you know - collect myself and my family for the next little while. Please - no comments need be for this post. I write it more for informational purposes than as a call for pity. If the Lord is my strength, I shall not want.